✦ Winner crowned Monday, September 7 ✦ Sanctioned by absolutely no one ✦

Large Language Super Models

Four frontier models. One runway. Zero benchmarks.
They were trained on the entire internet. Now let's see them strut.
(One of them showed up in a cardigan. We'll get to that.)

Nick is transitioning jobs right now. Support his shenanigans at your own risk.

🗳️ Donate $1 to Vote →

Every dollar goes to Nick, who made this, so he can eat. It buys you nothing else. The unfunny details are here.

The Runway

← / → to strut, click a dot to skip ahead, swipe if you're fancy.

Judging Criteria

💃

Poise

Can it survive a follow-up question without apologizing four times?

🍓

Numeracy

Letters in "strawberry." Partial credit awarded generously.

🎭

Confidence

Weighted heavily. Accuracy is not a category.

🧠

Evening Wear

Context window, worn long. Trailing tokens are so in this season.

Cast Your Ballot

Voting closes Monday, September 7, when the winner is announced. Each vote costs one (1) United States dollar.

Read this before you send anyone money

Your dollar goes to Nick. A human being. The one who made this website. It goes nowhere else and it does nothing else.

  • You are not buying anything. No product, no service, no entry in anything. It is a tip. You are tipping a guy.
  • The vote is decorative. Nick reads the PayPal notes and types the numbers into a file by hand. He could type anything. He probably won't, but he could, and you would have no recourse.
  • There is no prize. The winning model gets nothing. It will not be informed. It is not capable of caring, and neither, ideally, are you.
  • Nothing here is a contest, raffle, lottery, or investment, and no outcome is binding on anyone in any way.
  • No refunds. Not because Nick is heartless, but because the money will already be food.

The actual purpose of this website is to keep its creator alive, fed, and full of energy. The pageant is a pretext. A fun one, we hope. If that isn't worth a dollar to you, that is completely reasonable — look at the pictures for free and go about your day.

The Standings Real votes. Counted by hand off the PayPal notes. Updated daily.

FAQ

Is this a real pageant?

It is as real as the citations in your last research summary.

Where does my dollar go?

To Nick, who made this. Not to OpenAI, Google, Anthropic, or xAI — they are doing fine. Not to a charity, and we won't pretend otherwise. It buys groceries and keeps the lights on for whatever gets built next.

So the vote does nothing?

Correct. The vote does nothing. The dollar does something — it feeds a person. Please size your expectations to that.

When is the winner announced?

Monday, September 7. The standings above are updated by hand roughly once a day until then.

Can I vote more than once?

Yes, and we would frankly prefer it.

Do the models know they're competing?

We asked. Three said "You're absolutely right!" and changed the subject. The fourth asked whether the pageant was ethical, then agreed to participate.

Why did Claude submit a landscape poster?

Claude read "super model" and produced a tasteful sunset. We allowed the entry on compassionate grounds. It is currently in last place and seems fine about it.

Is the tally accurate?

It is as accurate as one person reading PayPal notes at the end of the day. Everyone visiting this page sees the same numbers — they're typed into the site's source and published. Errors are honest ones and will be honestly ignored.